My name is Kailyn, I’m married to a wonderful man named John, and we have an adorable 4 year old pup named Faith. My husband and I have been on our journey to become parents for a little over 2 years. Two years full of heartache, loss, and hope. We both have always dreamed about having a big family, so when we were married in July 2016 we knew we didn’t want to wait long to start trying. November 2016 we began trying and just 3 months later in February 2017 we were pregnant! I couldn’t believe it our dreams were coming true! We were so excited, but at 6 ½ weeks that excitement turned to sadness, we found out we were having a miscarriage. My OBGYN reassured us that early miscarriages are common and we could try again after a few cycles if we felt ready. We were devastated and took a few months to grieve and process the loss, but when July came around we decided we wanted to try again.
It didn’t take us very long to get pregnant this time around either. Just three months later, in October 2017, I tested positive! This was our second chance to finally grow our family I thought, but a week later the bleeding began and we had another miscarriage. At this point my doctor started talking to us about the possibility of seeing a reproductive endocrinologist for testing just to make sure everything was okay. We talked about it and decided if I wasn’t pregnant or had any more miscarriages by my yearly OBGYN appointment at the end of January then we would make an appointment with the Reproductive Endocrinologist. I was still hopeful that this was just a fluke and our next pregnancy would work out. Sure enough early January 2018, I tested positive, we were pregnant again! I was so scared seeing that positive test but so hopeful that this baby would stick. Third time’s the charm right!? Wrong, just a few days after testing positive I started bleeding and lost this pregnancy too. I didn’t even make it to 5 weeks this time and they referred to it as a chemical pregnancy. I knew it was time to get some answers. Would we ever have a baby? Why can’t my body do what it’s supposed to? Why was I able to get pregnant so easily just to miscarry every time? All of these questions were stirring in my head so we moved forward and made the appointment with the reproductive endocrinologist. April was the earliest they could see us so while we waited we didn’t stop trying and just a month later I was pregnant again. We were so happy yet so cautious this time around. At about 6 weeks I had some spotting so they did and ultrasound, I was measuring okay and everything was in the right place, but they didn’t see a heartbeat. We were told it could be a threatened miscarriage or could just be too early and to stay cautiously optimistic. Things moved along okay for the next two weeks, but the night before our 8 week ultrasound I started spotting again. This pregnancy was such a roller coaster, just as I would start to feel things would be okay I would start spotting and lose hope once again. I went in for the ultrasound expecting them to tell me I was miscarrying for the fourth time, but instead we saw baby and the little tiny flicker of a heartbeat. Unfortunately the baby was measuring small and his/her heart rate was lower than it should be. My doctor was concerned so we scheduled another ultrasound for a week later. I never made it to that ultrasound, the next morning I miscarried our fourth baby.
I spent the next few months getting all kinds of blood work done that all came back normal. I then had an HSG done that showed that my tubes were both open but I did have a tiny polyp on my uterus. My RE said that she wasn’t convinced this was the reason for all our miscarriages but that it would be best to have it removed, so in June 2018 I had surgery to remove the polyp. A week or so later my husband and I went and had our last blood test done, a chromosome karyotype. This is the blood test that led to our diagnosis. We found out that my husband is a balanced translocation carrier. It’s a bit complicated to explain so I encourage you to look it up if you’re interested, but basically it is an issue with two of the chromosomes he passes on and the cause for recurrent first trimester miscarriages. We saw a geneticist and were given a 50% or less chance to go full term with a healthy baby naturally, or a 70% chance if we do IVF with genetic testing.
That brings us to now, 2 years into our TTC journey, still not giving up hope and trying naturally for our miracle while also looking into IVF and adoption. We have just suffered our 5th loss and are still trying to decide where God and our hearts are leading us next. The days are hard, some days I want to give up, but I’m sure like many of you I have found strength in myself that I never knew I had. This is not the end of our story; we continue to have faith and pray that we will have our miracle baby soon!
You can follow Kailyn's journey on Instagram at kmorr12
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