I have become passionate about supporting the TTC and mommy community. Even though I am on the other side, those of you in the wait are not forgotten. There are days those memories return and feel so raw. Once you experience infertility I believe those feelings never leave you. We have no remaining embryos. This brings many questions and uncertainty about expanding our family, but my faith in God’s plan is strong. I currently work as a nurse practitioner in my rural hometown. My husband is a teacher and coach. We decided early on in our marriage we would wait to start our family and I would finish my masters and doctorate degree.
I will be honest I never would have imagined we would have problems conceiving. We started our infertility journey after the magic “try on your own for one year” attempt. During this we experienced a miscarriage in January 2016 at 6 weeks. My medical head really began to spin after this as my cycles were extremely normal, to the point I could tell when I was ovulating. At that point, it was decided to begin the infertility workup. We were told there was nothing found and to keep trying on our own. We got concerned when 4 more months passed and still no pink lines. My OB decided it was time to refer us on to a reproductive endocrinologist.
After our initial consult, it was determined IUI was the best next step for us. We did 2 rounds with femera and 1 round with gonal-f injections. When these failed we had hit our maxed out point. I will never forget taking the 3rd round trigger shot in our cellar with the tornado siren going off . I feel like I could write an entire post on the disasters of our third IUI. Exhausted and confused we decided to take a break. I accepted a once in a lifetime health policy fellowship for 1 month in Washington, DC. I can’t even begin to tell you how amazing this was for me. God truly has a plan, trust in it.
We decided to switch clinics and begin our IVF journey at CCRM Lonetree. The care received there was exceptional. We retrieved 17 eggs, 11 fertilized , and 5 were sent to be CCS tested. I won’t lie, I was sad with those numbers. I think I had expected a large number yet I couldn't tell you what that magical number was. From that 2 were normal , 1 boy and 1 girl. Cue more medical head spinning for me and whys. Dr.Schoolcraft initially said we had unexplained infertility but felt endometriosis was to partially blame. We decided to do depot lupron for 2 months before transfer. The beta integrin test showed I was missing the magic protein, but this can fluctuate monthly with your cycle. I highly recommend looking into this test and injection for unexplained or frequent miscarriages. Our first transfer was canceled due to lining issues. A canceled transfer is devastating. Mentally and physically your so geared up and poof, another wait. Our second date was nearly canceled due to estrogen results but after a lab redraw at a different lab we were set. Dr. Schoolcraft wanted us to transfer both embryos. Much discussion was had with our embryologist on this. On May 1, 2017 we transferred our only 2 embryos. At our 6 week ultrasound we saw one healthy heartbeat. I will always wonder what our girl would be like, but rejoiced in a healthy heartbeat. My pregnancy was normal and going well. I was doing ultrasounds every 2 weeks starting at 12 weeks per Dr. Schoolcraft due to history of a Leep procedure. At 32 weeks I woke up to a gush of blood. I was life-flighted two hours away to my OB, where I spent 3 nights in the hospital. Everything remained normal and it was determined I had a small placenta abruption. I then spent another 4 weeks living 2 hours from home to remain close to my OB with twice weekly appointments with NST testing and BPP ultrasound. I was able to return home the week of Christmas. At 39 weeks Hayden surprised us and was born via emergency c-section. He is a happy and healthy baby.
Don’t loose hope. Don’t let road blocks stop you. Know your allowed to feel those emotions as they come but don’t let them control you for too long. Keep your faith and stay strong.
You can follow Tara's journey on Instagram at tmbdnp_ivf
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